This article was originally posted on my old blog.
I was delighted with the response to it, and connecting with people like me. I wanted to bring you some pieces of advice if you’re shy or quiet to make things a bit easier in everyday life!
1. Not Everyone Will Understand
This seems like a weird piece of advice but it’s one I think should be shared. Indeed, some people won’t really get why you’re shy or why you aren’t talking much. In some cases, they may even think that you just don’t want to talk to them or be in a particular place because you are being a little awkward. It’s just something that will happen from time to time, but you should trust that the people that care about you will understand it about you!
2. Set Yourself Mini-Challenges
This is something that I did to help myself, and it may just work for you too! I talked about it in the first post about being an introvert but basically what I would do is make myself go into cafés and shops by myself and build up the ability to talk and interact with strangers very gradually. I had terrible days and still do from time to time where I am a stumbling mess once I get to the till, but each time I make myself do something seemingly scary, it allows me to do something even harder and that way I built up the confidence to be able to be by myself in public a lot more. Other mini-challenges could include getting yourself to talk to the person next to you on the bus, things like that.
3. Realise That You Aren’t A Bad/Useless Person
For years I wanted to be more outgoing, and more sociable and that led me to think there was something wrong with me for a long time. It’s really easy to feel useless when you see what your friends can do that you can’t. But it’s not a bad thing! It sounds cliché but sometimes you do need to look on the bright side of it – the advantages it allows! Because I wasn’t very good at talking to people I became incredibly good at other things, which leads me to my next point!
4. Become a listener!
For some reason, the fact that I wasn’t the most outgoing persin led me to become someone that people could talk to when they had problems, and this for me was the best thing ever! I liked the fact that I could listen to people’s problems and try and help them out and it’s served me well throughout the years. Instead of trying your best to be really outgoing if that’s just not going to happen, try to stick to something else that you’re good at – for me that was definitely listening.
5. Don’t feel pressured to fit in, be yourself!
What a cliche point, I know. I’m serious though! Don’t try really hard to fake it! The way I see it, if people aren’t happy with you as you are, they’re not your people. Your friends and the people you care about should understand your personality. I know it’s frustrating for you if you feel you don’t fit in with everyone but trust me, fitting in with every single person is overrated! Be you and the people that like who you are are the friends you’ll want to have in the future!
That’s it for this little advice piece! I’d love to hear your stories – comment away!