Coffee Conversations Lifestyle Self Care

A No BS Guide to Handling Negative Feelings

You’d be lying if you said you don’t ever experience those uncomfortable, bad feelings.

In particular, I mean those ones you struggle to even admit to yourself; jealousy, rage, maybe even sadness. The fact of the matter is, these feelings can sometimes seep into the things we do, and when this happens we need to put them in check.

Today, I want to talk a little about the creative ways of out-letting some of our negative feelings! I want to delve right into the taboo of them, and show you that it is perfectly okay to feel this way – as well as if you don’t. I will try my best to advise based on my opinions. I’m obviously no expert in human emotion or anything of the sort, I just find myself quite content a lot of the time, so I thought I’d share some of the ways I keep myself that way.

I know the inner workings of people pretty well, too – or so I’d like to think!

The angry – indoor complex.

I invented that just now, but you’ll know exactly what I mean. You know those situations where someone really gets on your nerves? Where you know someone is actively in a bad mood and you can do no right because of it? This is where the complex comes in. You’re peaceful usually, you don’t like complex – but you’re feisty deep down, so you continue to smile on the outside. Inside though, it’s like a war zone. You think of things you would say to that person, if you could! You tell your boss to shove it, but in your head only so you never have to face those consequences. It might not make you feel completely better, but it sure does help.

Let all that out! (or… in!). There’s nothing wrong with feeling p*ssed off sometimes! And that never means that you have to start an explosive conflict, you can probably get by just having a little rant to yourself!

Now, if it calls for it – it might be best that you couple this self-rant with a talk with the other party at some stage. Let’s use the boss, for example. If you’re being treated unfairly repeatedly, it might be a good idea to have a calm talk with them, to let them know how they are making you feel.  Most conflicts can be easily sorted with a respectful one-to-one. Even if, to get by, you’re talking some sh*t to yourself about them throughout. 

Not competition, motivation!

Jealousy. Ooh, how I loathe that feeling. Sure, we need to embrace all of the things we feel, but this one personally causes me to feel guilt for feeling it in the first place!

But, let’s say you are insanely jealous of the way someone gets their work done. Are you jealous of them? Or are you jealous of their work ethic? Sometimes, the jealousy isn’t that personal at all.

But even if it is…

The worst thing you can do is use your jealousy to create this pressure filled competition. Instead, focus your energy on becoming motivated, let that other person motivate you to do better! And not better than them, no, I mean better for yourself!

In particular, this might be relevant in a blogging sense. You might be really jealous of someone else’s blog traffic, right? Well, honestly, while you’re sitting there thinking about that they are getting sh*t done! So, keep motivated! Don’t compare figures, just decided that you’ll give things an even harder go. And if you have a few more views down the line then that’s a bonus!

Again, I must stress it is natural to feel jealousy ( to an extent obviously ). It’s being able to channel it into energy that you can use to your benefit that counts.

No one likes me.

I couldn’t tell you any one reason why I have always had low self-esteem. Even now, my opinion of myself is only what some would call moderate. Every so often I will get these extreme dips in my confidence (the small bit I have). I just right out feel like no one likes me, just plain and simple. Like, I write this blog and I often get nice compliments and I love doing it, but at times it’s hard to see blog X do ten times better when you put in just as much work!

It causes me to feel like it is a personality thing, but then I kinda jerk myself back to reality a little. Everyone is liked by someone!

Sometimes the best solution is to have a stern chat with yourself. To say, ‘Hey now, you’re being a bit harsh on yourself there’ and then to try and find some positive things about yourself.

It’s okay to feel down on yourself a little, like as a woman, I know definitely one time in the month it is more common than others.

I will absolutely say though, sometimes having a stern talk to yourself about your feelings is not enough. Sometimes, it might just go beyond that. If you have self deprecating thoughts often, it might be a good idea to talk to someone about those feelings. We can only be in charge of our emotions to a certain extent and sometimes things happen that leave us in need of a little help with that.

So, what to make of those negative feelings?

Humans were given feelings so that we could feel more alive. We are allowed to feel the bad ones, in fact it’s healthy to – within reason! Sometimes, especially on Social Media, it’s like there’s a pressure to be a Florence Nightingale kind of figure 24/7. Like yes, you need to be happy and spread a positive message. Bad things happen all the time, so it needs to be counteracted. Just sometimes, things get to us, we get angry and we need to express that some!

Being able to process these ‘bad’ feelings in a way that you feel is healthy will help you to feel a lot better! A rant is needed people, a bit of jealousy can help to put the spark under us and sometimes we feel sad or bad about ourselves – just so that we can remind ourselves that we’re all that bad after all.

Just remember, never let constant cycles of bad feelings go unchecked, or ones that just won’t let up. Talking to someone to help you to make sense your feelings can really help!

I hope you liked this post, if you did please do subscribe to my Newsletter where you’ll receive free and exclusive content!

Maggie X

pinterest-handling-negative-feelings-ontheblog

2 thoughts on “A No BS Guide to Handling Negative Feelings”

Leave a Reply