Like, it’s not just ‘being shy’.
Forever ago, I wrote about being an Introvert. It was a time where I was pretty okay at writing for my blog, but I also wasn’t past the threshold of saying whatever the fuck I like on my blog. See, I just dropped an F-bomb there for effect.
Now though, I’m a little wiser and life has not been afraid to show me who’s boss.
Being an introvert is something that get’s taken way too lightly. I’ll just put that out there. It seems like something that’s seen as cute or unique but in reality, it’s tough. You lose friends, you lose sleep.
A lot of introverts can do the social thing, don’t get me wrong. The difference is a lot of alone time is needed afterwards to get back into form. It can be damn lonely. It can make you seem very un-likable to outsiders. I struggled with an inner me that was bursting with the want for people to like me. I could have achieved this if people could see through my shy streak. I wasn’t able to break out of it though and it left me awkwardly silent. I guess I could never connect with strangers and for this, I always felt extremely unpopular. None of that stuff really matters, but at the same time it does.
There’s nothing wrong with being an introvert.
I wasn’t able to actually be me until about two years ago, I always just did what I thought was best. I tried to be who I saw having loads of friends and getting all of the attention.
I stayed in a college course I despised right before then. The people in it were lovely, but some of the people outside of it weren’t so great – old acquaintances from school. I was so unhappy because I was being made to feel like an alien, for being quiet. As soon as I passed that college threshold, friends I had in Secondary School dropped me like I wasn’t even worth a ‘See Ya’. The lack of understanding for my personality stung. I realised at the point how fickle friendship could be. I didn’t want to go chasing boy-bands in airports, I didn’t want to go out drinking every other night. I could have done those things, but know I would have felt very uncomfortable. I didn’t think that meant you wouldn’t like me anymore.
Then, I met someone who was quite like me. He was very social where it counted, but always preferred to be in the comfort zone. We connected and hit it off and are still together. I learned a lot about myself. I put a lot of pressure and blame on myself for not being like everyone else. It’s not like that though, having an introverted personality isn’t something that’s wrong. It is really touchy-feely, but if you’re being cast aside for it, it’s someone else that has the problem – not you.
It’s time to get comfortable in your own skin – but for real. It’s accepting that not everyone will like you, but those that do will be there for you way down the line. If you’re as shy as I am, then maybe yes, there’s a couple of things you can tweak but it’s nothing un-fixable!
Be nicer to yourself, you’ve only got one you!
Me: The paradox
Not initiating conversation has been a big problem of mine, but it’s something I have been working on in person. If someone talks to me first I can usually fake like I have an air of confidence about me, but nothing major.
Here’s the thing though: I can write/be on social media so freely.
It’s something that boggles my mind sometimes. I write confidently, I always have. I started my blog to help me come out of my shell, and while it’s working, based on some of my blog posts you’d never know what I was like in person. It seems to be another comfort zone of mine. If I could apply how I am with Social Media in real life, I could have a really stressful, customer service based job or something.
You are who you are, now love it. I command you.
I guess the message of this post is, being an Introvert isn’t just a Huffington Post article with a gorgeous woman sipping a coffee on it. (No offence Huff Post). It’s hard work. It’s only feeling like you when you get to be in your happy place. It may lose you a couple of shallow friends. But, it’s you and you need to love that. The best thing any introvert can do is find a good balance. Be kind to yourself. Challenge yourself. You might struggle with the social thing, but you’re not alone! I’m the same, and I know lots like me!
Just don’t be too hard on yourself, kiddo.
If you enjoyed this here heart to heart, why not be so kind as to let me know your thoughts?